Questioning Beliefs
by Cally Starkiller
Summary: Everyone has a small 'Questioning Beliefs' quest. But nobody wonders if Hawke ever questions her own beliefs. Implied F!Hawke/Fenris romance. Oneshot.


**Everyone has a short Questioning Beliefs quest. **

**But nobody wonders if Hawke ever questions her own beliefs. **

* * *

><p>Hawke suffered prejudice just for being born with the gifts that the Maker granted her. She never asked for it, she never really wanted it to begin with, but she has the ability to either destroy or heal life and that alone made her a target for the templars. Being an apostate on the run was never her ideal life, in fact, she would've preferred to have went with her brother Carver in the army for the King. She always wondered if life in the circle really was that bad that her family had to move constantly so that she and her little sister Bethany wouldn't be discovered.<p>

But when Hawke moved to Kirkwall she grew to understand the mage's plight. Sure, she doesn't endorse the idea of mages using blood magic because it was their 'last resort' against the templars; she understands, she just doesn't support it.

Over and over again she's being told that mages should be locked up in the circle to protect themselves and to protect others. All the circle did was tell the mages day in and day out that possessing magic was a sin to the Maker and that they should be kept under their 'protection'. But not all mages practiced blood magic or worshipped demons. In fact maybe some of them didn't even use their magic at all and just wanted to be **normal** like everybody else but is instead forced to be in some group telling them that they're a **mistake**.

Hawke knew what mages were capable of. But they have a choice, a voice. They are human beings for Maker's sake and should be seen as such, not as if they were blind rage murderers.

At least, that's what Hawke believed.

But here she was, holding her dead mother's body in her shaking arms, biting her lip to hold back the tears. Her mother was dead, all because of magic. A mage gone crazy with the idea of bringing back his deceased wife, kidnapping women and using them in his psychotic plan. Hawke could hear her friends behind her, giving her a moment to herself. She gently laid her mother's body aside, standing up unsteadily. She could feel her companion's eyes staring at her but she ignored them, the silence growing louder.

"Hawke I-" Anders started but Varric shook his head, imploring for him to not talk. The rest of the walk back to Hawke's estate was uneventful. Anders had gone back to his clinic in Darktown, still not believing that he witnessed a mage do that sort of thing and to Hawke of all people. But nevertheless, he continued working on his manifestos saying that mages deserved freedom.

Varric gave one last final look that said everything he needed to say, patted her on the arm once, and strolled back to the Hanged Man. However Fenris stayed behind as Hawke entered her estate and slunk inside after her. It felt wrong eavesdropping as Gamlen, Hawke's rather rude uncle, was asking about Leandra. When Hawke told him why Leandra was taken Gamlen was furious to say the least. He went on and on about how mages should be locked up and that magic has always been in a curse in the family. Fenris expected Hawke to defend herself but what he heard, he couldn't believe.

"You're right."

Fenris didn't bother listening to the rest of the conversation until Gamlen left and he was brought back to reality, his thoughts scattered. He began the descent up Hawke's stairway and headed for her room, the door wide open. There she was. Sitting on the edge of her bed, head hung low hiding her features, Hawke was alone in her grief. But not until Fenris made himself known.

"Hawke." He wasn't sure if he wanted indulge himself and ask that one question that's been eating up his mind for the past few minutes. Or simply try his best to comfort the woman he had left that one fateful night. Instead he let her decide, giving Hawke the option to either invite him into her room or reject his offer to comfort her. He wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to push him out the door and tell him to never come back. Things between them were still awkward after that night and honestly, he couldn't bare standing in this room where their personal memories were at. "I'm not sure what to say, but I'm here."

The one thing about Hawke that intrigued Fenris at first was that she was 'a bag full surprises that was just waiting to blow up and introduce the world to a new facet of Hawke'. At least, that's how Varric called it. Because the next thing Hawke did was something he would never have expected.

She smiled. At him. After the passing of her father Malcolm Hawke, the fault of Bethany's death on her shoulders, Carver leaving for the Grey Wardens and to never be seen again, and now her mother Leandra…she still managed to give the man who left her a smile.

Fenris couldn't help but smile back.


End file.
